omg what is that creature….

You know it, you fear it, and hell you might even live near it ( poor bastard’s), its the dreaded mother in law, and also the topic of tonight’s drunken rant.I have a mother in law,and everyday I plot new and creative ways of killing her.Now we shall call her by her secret code name which my best bitch and I call her, BECKY A. WANDA. now why do we call her this name? Because when we thought of a name that I gross person would be attached too thats what popped in our demented little heads. Now I am sure you all have heard about the dreaded monster in law, or even saw the movie, and how they became best friends in the end. Well shut the fuck up, because that doesnt happen in real life. My mother in law Becky was dragged out of the 7th circle of hell, just to torture me, because even though marrying the asshole who is the light of my life was the best thing to happen to me, as my favorite OUAT character reminds us, MAGIC COMES AT A PRICE. and what else could it has possibly been other then magic that blessed with someone as equally as mentally fucked as I? So Becky…. Becky is a cunt. Becky is a large disgusting, women, who is a narricistic, devious, lying pathetic twat, whose sole mission in life is too make us unhappy. She is almost 50, lives off her parents, and the state, hasnt worked in damn near 25 years, and loves to lie about damn near everything. Becky claims shes disabled from a knee and back injury, but when offered money to pay for her surgies she suddenly developed MRSA. People its been 8 YEARS and she still tells everyone that the doctors wont do surgery because she has MRSA, and that its in her blood. Apparently she has had a giant gaping hole in her disgusting stomach for 8 years that refuses to close but no one has ever seen. Now Im sure with my shit personality you might be thinking well if I was your mother in law I would hate you too. Nope dickwad I was the image of perfection to that women. heres a backstory: When I started dating my life prisoner I was doing porn. Yup you heard me. PORN. I had a really nice penthouse, and had paid my own way through college, about to earn my bachelors degree. I was completely independent at the ripe ol age of 20. But my husband messaged me one day after a shoot asking if we could hang out. We had know each other since high school. We hung out, we clicked, and we dated. I found out he had just been fired from his job, was a recovering alcholic / sex addict who was living with his mom. Now that should be enough to make most women run in the other direction, correct? Nope, remember I am not called borderline for nothing. he was only 21, and was as in deep of a depression as I was. We were two lost souls calling to each other. He gave me the confidence I needed to realize I was better than porn, and I taught him, about life. His mother, fueled his depression, whispering thoughts to him that he wouldnt need to find a job, to just stay with her, chain smoking together, and he could live there rent free. The house was disgusting, he was dirty, and she had her nails sunk into him. I can say the thing that made me love my human, the look in his eyes. He has the biggest, bluest eyes that anyone can get lost in, but they are sad, and tortured. They also plead for help, for love, and for acceptance. They mimicked mine. And so I did. In two weeks of us dating, I made him move out of her house, move into my apartment, get a job, quit smoking, go to the gym and eat right. He went into therapy, got on medications, and went to meetings. it was almost like the light bulb went off in his head, of what a horrible situation he was in before. And the moment he moved from her house was the second she hated ,e. She would call daily, in tears demanding to know where he was. She was so sure I was going to inject him with Heroine while he slept to kill him. She got the rest of his family involved, made fake facebook accounts, and wrote absolutely degrading posts about me ( revenge bitch). After a year of us dating we decided there was no way in hell we could be in the same city as her, so we moved to a desolate cold state over 3000 miles away. We stayed gone for several years, making no contact with her, and he grew as a person. We got married, and traveled all across the country, but there was something in our bones that made us miss home. When we got back, we were begged by his grandparents to do christmas together as a family. It was a nightmare.